"apple-beveragesaur replied to your post: "apple-beveragesaur replied to your post: So like…
still pretty cool though :3”
uvu Thank you!!
"apple-beveragesaur replied to your post: So like Petunia and Vernon think it’s bad when…
wait does this actually happen or is this a headcanon”
It’s backstory for my fanfic, so, ye, headcanon I guess.
I am upset. I am worried. I don’t remember what time my appointment on Friday is. I don’t know if I would rather get an ADHD diagnosis or still not know what’s wrong with me. I only have 100 dollars left and still no job. I’m so fucking afraid. I hate the fucking “What do you mean focus isSQUIRREL” jokes because that is shit I literally cannot help doing. I’m so so so so so so so scared all of the time but especially now. My life is legitimately harder than it should be. Fuck.
This may or may not be true. -cryptic smile-
(Sometimes!!! Frequently. Cuddlessss. Good headcanon!!!)
This sounds really fucking awesome.
Guys make headcanons about me.
So like Petunia and Vernon think it’s bad when Dudley starts bEING A DECENT HUMAN BEING EVER like they think he’s sick but really he just, he’s just tired of everyone hating him, and Harry’s wife told him that the only way he can actually get that to not be a thing is to sTOP BEING A DICKFACE
and they think that’s bad because he starts like, correcting himself and telling them they’re being awful and why that’s not cool
Petunia gets this tight, pinched look and Vernon goes all red
and they think it’s even worse when Dudley marries a *GASP* BLACK WOMAN who also doesn’t take their fucking shit like nah I’m so not even dealing with your parents until they stop being shitstains and Dudley’s like yeah I know I’m trying they’re just… and she’s like they’re awful and he’s like yeah and Petunia almost fucking faints when Dudley says they have to stop insulting his wife and other PoC or he’s not coming around anymore
but the icing on the fucking cake
is Dudley’s nonbinary child with xir painstakingly color-of-the-month-dyed fauxhawks and sidebraids and xir deliberately androgynous clothes and xir flamboyant metallic-colored make-up and xir knee-high platform boots and xir DATING CHOICES MY LORD
and they sniff and are haughty and disdainful and it’s Vernon who almost faints this time when Dudley’s like look, I know it’s hard, GOD DO I KNOW I SPENT THE FIRST LIKE TEN YEARS OF THIS KID’S LIFE OFF AND ON TRYING TO MAKE THEM BE NORMAL BEcause being a dickhead doesn’t just go away magically but if you don’t start at least trying i’m not going to make … xir… come around when I visit anymore, i’m not going to let you make my kid feel (even more) awful (than xe already does) about xirself, okay
and thAT’S BEFORE THEY EVEN KNOW THAT XE’S ALSO ENROLLED IN HOGWARTS, OOP S „„,
in the end dudley does work hard to overcome the shitty way that vernon and petunia raised him and he does get better (though never completely loses that feeling of entitledness) and his kid and his wife help him stay grounded
(coincidentally, Dudley’s as yet unnamed child is my QUEER HP FANFIC’s main character so there’s that)
nATE THE HULK-KAT LIKES ME TOO
YOUR TAGS MADE ME VERY HAPPY
SO HAPPY I STOPPED PRETENDING I AM ASLEEP TO TELL YOU SO
shhh shhhh shhhhhhhhhhh
[tucks u in]
sleep new friend. i will still be cool and witty and gr8 tomorrow. and so will you.
yES FOLLOW ALL OF THE GR8EST OF MY FRIENDS
CAPS CAPS CAPS CAPS CAPS CAPS CAPS PARTAAAAAY HURRRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
respect the hulk
happy halloween yall!